Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
