i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
