we made out on top of his cat.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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