Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
