I want to stick my p in your. b.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
