It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
