I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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