OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
