New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize