I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
