shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
