We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
