Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
