playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
