summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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