Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
