The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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