Pappa wants mamma naked
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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