i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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