i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
