i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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