Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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