If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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