The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
