I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
