The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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