It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
