if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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