Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
