After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
