I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
