Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
