i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
