I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
