once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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