If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
not ubering you a puppy
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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