is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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