Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
