Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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