are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
