You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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