He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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