nut hugger
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
