Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
