Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
