if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
