Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
