Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
