Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
