You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
