Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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