3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
