im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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