I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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